The Journey to Papi
by Meg0613
Summary: It is not always easy introducing a new person into a child's life and Rafael has to learn how to earn Noah's trust and overcome his past while learning how to be a father figure.
1. Chapter 1

The Journey to Papi

 _Set mainly after season eighteen, with flashbacks to midseason._

Rafael felt the bed shift next him waking him from the light sleep he had fallen into, without opening his eyes he reached out and pulled her back against himself, smiling when he realized she was still undressed. He began trailing kisses down her shoulder slowly running his hand down her side resting it on her hip.

"Don't leave yet." He whispered moving his lips to her earlobe.

"Raf, I have to." She said with a slight whine to her voice.

"Twenty more minutes." He said, always the negotiator.

This time she laughed out loud, "We said that an hour and a half ago." She rolled over to face him placing a kiss firmly on his lips, "I have to go Rafael, I need to actually cook Noah dinner tonight."

He sighed releasing her from his arms and propped himself up slightly as he watched her get dressed. Smiling as he watched her search his bedroom for her discarded clothing. She had slid into her panties and pants and was holding her blouse while she searched for her bra.

"Looking for something?" He asked holding the black lace bra up from where he was laying on the bed.

Olivia rolled her eyes at him, "Hand it over Counselor." She demanded

He grinned at her, "Not until you admit you were planning this when you got dressed this morning."

"I will admit no such thing, this is just what happened to be clean." She countered but the blush in her face told otherwise.

Rafael crawled across the bed and tugged her back down, "You are a terrible liar, how do you ever get suspects to believe you?" He asked as he moved his lips down her neck.

"Well for one thing, my suspects and I are both usually dressed." She said her voice catching slightly, "Raf…" She sighed.

"I know, I know," He answered rolling off of her and getting off the bed pulling on his boxers. "I was just doing my best to give you something to think of when you get dressed tomorrow." He teased.

"I always think of you when I get dressed." She finally admitted.

"You know it might be nice to be around one of those mornings." He said hesitantly knowing this was shaky ground.

She finished buttoning her blouse and looked back at him, "Raf, we both know that's not as easy as it sounds."

He leaned back against his dresser, "Liv, it's been almost six months don't you think we are ready?"

"I don't like the idea of bringing men in and out of Noah's life." She said clumsily.

"I didn't know I was one in a series." He snapped back the hurt obvious in his eyes.

She crossed the room and pulled him to her, "You aren't, I love you and there is nobody else, and I have no plans for anyone else. I think it's still my hang up about how everything happened. "

Rafael nodded his head to say that it had been a complicated year would be an understatement, "Liv, it's been six months." He said again this time with gentle empathy in his voice and eyes.

She nodded, "How about the park and maybe ice cream on Saturday?" She offered knowing that he was right.

"Sounds perfect." He told her, "I love you, now go home to your boy."

 _ **Six Months Earlier**_

Olivia was unusually quiet as she sipped from her glass of wine, he had been surprised when she had texted him but happy for the invitation nonetheless. He figured she needed some time to decompress before going home after the case she had just faced. Cases involving kids had always been hard but since becoming a mother they were even more so.

"You want to talk about it?" He asked her after she finished her first glass.

She shook her head, but then surprised him with her response, "Do you ever think about quitting? Doing something else?" She asked him.

"Of course, don't we all?" He responded, "But at the end of the day we both know that we are good at what we do and we are needed, right?" He finished his drink and looked at her surprised to see tears in her eyes.

"What is it Liv?" He asked placing a hand on her arm.

"You want to go for a walk?" She asked.

It was January and probably snowing outside but he did not hesitate to grab his coat and help her with hers and they walked outside. She slipped her arm into his and they walked silently for a while.

"You want to tell me what's going on?" He finally asked.

She paused and turned to face him, "Ed put in his papers and he wants me to do the same, he wants us to stop and smell the roses together."

Barba stared at her, trying to take in the words she had just said. He knew Tucker had taken her to Paris after Dodds died but since then he had the feeling things were not that serious between them.

"Do you want to retire?" He asked.

"No, I tried to entertain the thought, I really did, but I can't this job is too much a part of who I am." She told him.

"What about smelling the roses with Tucker?" He pressed almost afraid to hear her answer.

"I keep trying with that too." She said with a sigh, "I really do but…"

"But what?" He pressed again.

"I'm not in love with him, I keep trying to be in love with him but I am not." She confessed.

"You shouldn't have to try to be in love with someone Liv, that's not how being in love works." He told her looking into her eyes.

Silence fell between them and they began to walk again, the snow falling softly on them. After a while Liv spoke again, her words stopping Rafael in his tracks.

"What about trying not to be in love with someone, how does that work?" She asked him in the faintest voice he had ever heard from her eyes directed at the pavement at her feet.

He stepped closer to her lifting her chin with his hand, "In my recent experience not very well."

"What are you saying Rafael?" She asked him.

"What are you saying Olivia?" He asked her back.

"I need you to go first." She whispered, the words barely escaping her mouth before she felt his lips cover hers, his hands running through her hair and electricity through her body. She reached for him pulling him closer taking in every part of this moment she had avoided for so long.

He finally pulled back and looked at her standing under the street light, snowflakes covering her hair, her eyes sparkled in a way that he had never seen before knowing that he was responsible for that was almost enough to cause him to forget they were still in public.

"That is how it should feel when you kiss someone you are in love with." He told her waiting for her response.

"Then there is a very good chance that I am in love with you Rafael." She confessed. "And that I have never been in love like this before." Unable to deny just how deeply she felt for him any longer.

"Olivia, I have been in love with you longer than you can possibly know." He said drawing her in for another kiss.

She pulled back and looked at him, "This isn't going to be easy you know that right? And I need to try and explain things to Ed."

Rafael fought the urge to roll his eyes at the mention of Tucker instead he nodded, "I am ok if this isn't always easy, and as far as Tucker, you do what you need."

"I should get home." She told him reluctantly, "I need to get that over with."

He nodded again and flagged her down a cab, "Just remember that what kissing someone you love feels like." He told her with a smile.

"Don't worry that is not something that I am likely to forget anytime soon." She told him before closing the cab door.

 **Present Day**

When Rafael rang Olivia's bell Saturday afternoon he felt more nervous than a teenager meeting his date's father on prom night. He knew that Olivia loved him but he knew ultimately Noah came first. He shifted nervously holding a bouquet of flowers for Liv and a gift bag with Thomas the Tank Engine trains for Noah. He knew from Liv they were his favorite. He relaxed slightly when she opened the door and glanced around before giving her a quick kiss.

"Where's Noah?" He asked just as he saw the preschooler come running down the hall.

"Who's here?' he asked stopping when he saw Rafael.

"Noah you remember ?" Liv asked

Rafael knelt down, "How about you call me Rafael? This is for you." He said holding out the gift bag.

Noah hesitantly took the bag glancing at the flowers his mother was now holding. He opened the bag and removed the trains slowly looking at them and then back at Rafael, "I don't like trains."

"Noah!' Olivia gasped but Rafael shook his head.

"Well, do you like the park? I would love to take you and Mommy to the park and maybe for ice cream?" He offered.

"No," Was all the boy said before turning and walking back to his room.

Olivia apologized, handed Rafael the flowers, and followed after Noah, leaving Rafael standing there realizing that this was going to be harder than he thought. He picked up the trains and carried them to the living room placing them next to Noah's train table. He took the flowers and found a vase in Liv's cabinet. After a few minutes Liv and Noah reappeared from his room.

"Sorry, ." Noah said but he still did not look happy.

"It's ok Noah." Rafael offered, "We can do the park another day.,," He started to say but liv interrupted him.

"Noah, go look at your new trains for a minute." She told him and the boy must have recognized Olivia's no more argument voice as Rafael did because he complied.

"Maybe you were right Liv, maybe it's too soon." Rafael told her,

Olivia shook her head and crossed her arms, "Nope the four year old doesn't get to call the shots. I told you this might not be easy Rafael, it will take time and we will be patient but we can't leave it up to him."

Rafael nodded, "I have no idea how to do this Liv, you are going to have to show me."

Olivia smiled and pulled him to herself, "We'll figure it out together." She said before kissing him.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

The Journey to Papi

Chapter Two

That first Saturday at the park was more difficult than even Liv had anticipated. Noah either completely ignored Rafael or acted out demanding Olivia's attention. The second time he pushed another child Liv finally called it a day. Rafael walked them home a heavy silence between all of them.

She quickly showed Noah to his room and told him she would be back to talk to him in a few minutes.

"I'm so sorry Raf, I thought it would go better than this." She began to apologize and he pulled her into his arms.

"Hey, it's all right, we'll try again. I love you." He told her.

"I'm not sure I know how to help him through this Raf. He has been through so much and is so resistant to new people. I think I will call Dr. Lindstrom on Monday and see if he has any advice." Olivia said.

Rafael nodded and then surprised Olivia, "I wouldn't mind hearing what he has to say too Liv, I mean if you don't mind."

Olivia stared at him speechless, "What?" was all she was able to stammer out.

"I don't' have to Liv, I mean I know that is very personal, I just thought it might help if I heard it too, or maybe if he could tell me a book to read or something like that." Rafael explained talking even more quickly than usual.

"You would do that for me? For Us?" She asked thinking about how she had asked Brian to go to counseling with her after Lewis and he never would.

"Liv, I love you and it is my intention to be a part of your life for a very long time. I fully admit I have no idea what to do with a child but I want to learn, if you trust me enough to be around Noah I want to do the best job I can." He explained.

Olivia nodded tears in her eyes, "OK then I will make an appointment we can both attend."

"I should let you go take care of Noah, tell him goodbye for me ok, and call me tonight." He said before kissing her.

Later that same week they found themselves seated in Dr. Lindstrom's office. He was pleasantly surprised to see Rafael there with Olivia. Olivia had told him about their relationship and he was pleased that Rafael was open to counseling if necessary. Relationships with survivors of the types of trauma that Olivia and Noah had both been through would require support at times. He listened as Olivia told him about the day they had attempted to spend together and Noah's behavior. He commended Olivia for not canceling the plans when Noah objected.

"Noah has to learn that Rafael is a safe person and that will take time and consistency. Setting consistent times he sees you is part of that. Start slow Saturdays afternoons at the park are a great way to start. Noah gets to decide how much he interacts with Rafael but the other expectations for his behavior should be otherwise the same, then you slowly build from there." He explained and Olivia and Rafael both nodded.

"Rafael how is your relationship with your parents?" Dr. Lindstrom asked.

"My Mother and I have always been close, my father passed away when I was in law school." He answered avoiding a full answer drawing a look from Olivia.

"And before he passed away?" Dr. Lindstrom pushed.

"We had not spoken in almost a decade." Rafael admitted, "He was not exactly what one would call warm and nurturing."

Dr. Lindstrom nodded, "It may be a good idea to start dealing with that while you wait for Noah to warm up. Also, I can give you a couple of books to be reading that might help you understand Noah a little more." He advised.

"Do you have time to grab some lunch?" Rafael asked her as they made their way from the office.

Olivia smiled at him, "I took the afternoon off."

He smiled back at her a whipped out his phone quickly hitting Carmen's number, "Hi Carmen, I won't be back in the afternoon, my meeting with Lieutenant Benson is going to take longer than I thought."

BarsonBarsonBarson

A month full of Saturdays went by and improvement was slow. Noah's overall behavior improved after the first outing but he still barley spoke to Rafael, on a good day he would get a hello and goodbye. One day when they were at the park Olivia had gone to use the restroom leaving Rafael to watch Noah. Noah had been playing with a group of other children and noticed that some older kids had come along. He watched as the older kids began to take over the area where Noah and his friends had been playing. He heard the other kids begin to laugh and saw that Noah was upset. He panicked for a moment looking for Olivia. When he didn't see her he went to check on Noah.

"Stupid kid can't even speak right." He heard one of the older boys say as he pushed Noah out of the way and he saw tears forming in Noah's eyes.

"Excuse me is there a problem?" Rafael asked and when the boy didn't answer he repeated himself in Spanish which must have been more intimidating to the boy because he shook his head no, "Do I need to find your parents?" the boy shook his head again. "Good then why don't you and your friends play somewhere else?"

The group of boys ran to another area of the playground and Rafael turned his attention to Noah, "Are you all right Noah?" he asked him.

"I want to go home." Noah said softly, Rafael paused for a minute wishing Liv would get back.

He thought about what he had learned from Dr. Lindstrom and the books he had been reading and he took a deep breath before responding to him, "We can go home if you want Noah, but I hate for those other boys to ruin your fun, would you like to stay a little longer?"

Noah looked at Rafael and then said, "You'll stay with me?" He asked holding out his hand.

"Of course Amigo." Rafael answered his heart beating a little faster as he allowed Noah to lead him across the playground.

Olivia was in shock when she returned and found them playing together on the playground, Noah allowing Rafael to help him across the monkey bars, something he had only let her do before.

"What happened?" She whispered.

"I'll tell you later." He whispered back.

As they walked back towards Olivia and Noah's apartment a little while later Noah surprised them both.

'Mommy, can Mr. Barba stay for dinner?" He asked quietly.

Olivia and Rafael smiled at each other, it was Noah's first step in accepting Rafael into their lives and they would take it.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

The Journey to Papi

Chapter Three

That day in the park definitely marked a turning point for Rafael and Noah as he slowly began to accept Rafael's presence more often. They added dinner once a week at their apartment to their schedule. Dr. Lindstrom had suggested it would be good for Noah to start seeing Rafael in their home. Olivia and Rafael had both worried about how Noah would react to that but it had been an easy transition. Of course it probably helped that Rafael brought dessert every time that he came over.

Noah surprised them both one night after dinner. Rafael was helping Olivia clean up the dishes when Noah came into the kitchen and placed something in his hand, Rafael looked down to see one of the trains he had brought Noah on that first Saturday.

"Rafi want to play trains?" the boy asked him.

Rafael imagined the smile on his face was the same as the one spreading across Olivia's. Not only was it the first time Noah had called him something other than Mr. Barba it was the first time he had initiated an activity with Rafael.

"I would love to Noah, let me finish helping Mommy." He told him.

Olivia smiled at them both, "Go ahead, I've got these."

Rafael nodded and followed him into the playroom dropping down to the floor next to Noah. They played trains for almost an hour, Noah chatting constantly telling Rafael which ones were his favorite and why. Olivia sat down on the couch behind them watching them amazed at the transformation that had taken place. She noticed that it was getting close to Noah's bedtime.

"Noah five more minutes and it's bed time." She told him.

'No, Mommy, I play trains with Rafi." He objected

"Noah, five minutes." She repeated.

"Rafi put me to bed." He insisted.

Rafael looked at Olivia he had never in his life put a child to bed. He had been here a few times when Olivia had put Noah to bed and she seemed to have a routine down.

"Of course Rafi can put you to bed." Olivia said with a smile that Rafael knew meant he was in over his head. Rafael gave Olivia a dubious look but quickly agreed.

"Ok, Amigo, go get your pajamas on and brush your teeth," he told Noah repeating what he had Liv say other times he had been around at bedtime.

"Rafi come too." Noah insisted and Rafael happily complied, scooping the boy up and carrying him down the hall.

"Tell Mommy goodnight." Rafael said,

"Good night Mommy." The boy laughed as Rafael carried him away.

Forty five minutes, two trips to the bathroom, three glasses of water (the first to warm, the second to cold), five books and four songs (Olivia gave him bonus points for the two in Spanish) Rafael returned to the living room looking like a solider returning from battle.

"Do you do that every night?" Rafael asked as he flopped down on the couch next to Olivia who just giggled.

'It gets easier I promise." She said snuggling up to his side and kissing him.

'If you say so.' He said pulling her closer for another kiss smiling when he felt her scoot onto his lap straddling him. He ran his fingers through her hair as he deepened the kiss, she pulled back and looked at him.

"I happen to know that the other member of this family is significantly easier for you to get to bed." She said with a teasing smile.

Rafael smiled back at her, "Only in my bed though."

"Well Counselor, there is a first time for everything." She whispered into his ear, catching her breath as he stood with her legs still wrapped around him and carried her down the hall to her room closing the door with his foot behind him, kissing her all the way.

"Lock it" She muttered and felt him reach back and lock it before placing her on the bed. He leaned down over her kissing her again.

"Do you have any idea how many times I've thought about this?" He asked her.

"Making love to me in my bed instead of yours?" She laughed,

"Oh Beautiful, I could give you a list of the places I've thought about making love to you. Many of them however would cost us our jobs and possibly jail time." He told her.

"Rafael…' she said impatiently moving her hips into him to gain his attention.

"Yes?" He asked with a grin.

"Stop talking." She said as she pulled his head down and kissed him.

Later on it was Olivia's turn to pout as she watched Rafael pull his clothes on. He laughed when he saw the expression on her face.

"See it's not fun being left all alone in the bed is it?" He asked her. "At least you get to come home to Noah. I have to go home alone." He pointed out as he sat back down on the bed.

"You could stay the night." She offered.

Rafael took a breath, "You have no idea how tempting that offer is, but I think before I stay over the first time we should tell Noah that I will be here in the morning, so he's not caught off guard."

Olivia smiled at him, "You're going to be a really good Dad." She said the words coming out before she realized what she had said. Rafael stared at her for a minute unsure what to say.

"I'm sorry Raf, I didn't mean to pressure you." She said shifting nervously on the bed.

"Liv, I never thought I would be a father, but if you give me that opportunity with Noah I promise you I will do the best that I can." He told her before kissing her again.

"So what are we saying here Raf?" She asked hesitantly.

"Liv, we aren't saying anything new here, except that maybe it's time to pick up the pace a little with Noah." He told her attempting to calm her nerves, "Because I for one am a little tired of waking up alone."

'I love you Rafael Barba." She said kissing him one more time before he left.

BarsonBarsonBarson

Rafael began to spend more time at their apartment and eventually one Friday night they told Noah that Rafi would be there when he woke up in the morning. The transitions went smoothly and Noah began to accept Rafael more and more into his life. It was not long before Noah considered Rafi his best friend. One Saturday morning while they were eating breakfast there was an urgent case that Liv was needed for.

"I can call Lucy," She offered.

Rafael stopped her, "I can do this Liv, we will be fine." He assured her.

Olivia was surprised that Rafael and Noah weren't home when she returned close to dinner time but decided to take advantage of the quiet apartment for a few minutes She had just settled down on the couch when she heard the door open and both of them talking.

"Hi Guys." She greeted them both from the couch.

"Mommy!" Noah yelled excitedly climbing the back of the couch to get to her.

"Noah, no we don't climb on the couch like that." She corrected, taking in the sight of him face covered in what appeared to be cotton candy, and the unmistakable smear of ice cream down the front of his shirt. His shirt was new with dinosaurs all over it and said "Natural History Museum". She caught sight of Rafael for the first time and realized he was carrying a stuffed T Rex almost as large as Noah.

"Did we have a good day?" She asked dryly.

"Rafi took me to the history 'seum and saw all the dinosaurs, and we bought one named Bob, and we had ice cream there. Then we stopped at the park, I didn't want to leave so Rafi bought me cotton candy. It was a very good day!" Noah told her happily before running off to play, grabbing his new friend from Rafael as he went. Rafael made his way around the couch and flopped down next to Liv, giving her a quick kiss.

"How is the case?" He asked her.

Olivia shook her head, "It will be there Monday." She said leaning over to kiss him again but was interrupted by a loud crash from Noah's room and they both hoped up to see what was happening.

'Noah?" She yelled as they went.

They found the boy sitting in his rooms having dumped all of his toy bins on the floor.

"Noah what did you do?" She asked and the boy just shrugged. "You have to clean it up.' She told him.

"Nooooooo" He began to cry.

"Come on Amigo I will help you." Rafael told him.

"Rafi clean!" Noah said happily.

Olivia shook her head, "I'm going to make dinner. I have a feeling someone is going to need an early bedtime tonight. "

Olivia made up a quick fettucine alfredo and salad a put it on the table.

'Raf, Noah, dinner is ready." She called. "I made alfredo"

"I don't want alfredo I want a hot dog." Noah protested coming to the table.

"No Noah, we are all having alfredo, I know you like it." Olivia said firmly.

"Hot dog! Hot dog! Hot dog!" Noah yelled.

"Come on Noah, Mommy's alfredo is amazing." Rafael tried,

"Rafi cook hot dog." Noah argued.

Rafael looked like a deer caught in the headlights, "Only if Mommy says yes." He replied nervously.

"Mommy already said no." Olivia almost hissed at him.

Eventually they got the child to the table, he ate a few bites before having a complete meltdown over the chicken in his pasta which resulted in Olivia scooping him up to his room. He cried as she got his pajamas on him and much to Olivia relief fell asleep quickly.

Olivia took a deep breath before leaving Noah's room, realizing it was time to have a very serious conversation with the other adult in her house. She returned to find Rafael had cleaned up the tossed plate along with the other dishes. He was waiting for her in the living room with a glass of wine.

"Rough night." He said.

"Sit" She ordered pointing to the couch.

He raised an eyebrow at her but knew better than to argue with that tone of voice unless absolutely necessary. He sat down on the couch, 'Are you going to join me at least?"

"Raf, I love you and you have been so incredibly patient with Noah and worked harder than I could have ever imagined to build a relationship with him."

"But?" He questioned.

"But, it's time to get past being Noah's friend." She explained flatly.

"I just want him to like me Liv." He told her.

"Raf, we are past the stage of getting him to like you. You have to start putting boundaries for him."

"I put boundaries" He protested.

"You make deals and negotiate Counselor, you do not set boundaries." She countered.

"It works" He said proudly.

"No, Raf it doesn't because then everything becomes a negotiation and sometimes he just needs to leave the park because it's time or eat the alfredo because it's not good to eat hot dogs every night." She explained.

"I'm not sure I know how to do this Liv. I mean it all seems so natural to you." He confessed.

Olivia laughed, "I takes a lot of work Raf, trust me."

"I'm also worried, that I'll turn into my father, I don't want to be anything like him to Noah." He continued and Olivia could hear the pain in his voice. She turned around and faced him.

"Now you listen to me Rafael, you are nothing like your father, especially when it comes to Noah. You are exactly the kind of father I want for him, you just have to learn how to set limits that's part of loving him." She explained gently.

'I'll do my best." Rafael promised still unsure how it would go.

It was only a few days later when Rafael had to try out his new role as boundary setter. Lucy was out of town and Liv had to work late so he had offered to pick Noah up from preschool. The boy was thrilled to see Rafi waiting for him with the rest of the parents and nannies.

"Rafi! ' He yelled running t him and giving him a hug.

"Mrs. Amy this is Rafi my best friend!" he introduced he happily introduced Rafael to his teacher.

Rafael spoke with Mrs. Amy and some other parents before gathering Noah and his bag and heading home.

"Can we go to the park Rafi?" Noah asked

"Not today Amigo, I promised Mommy I would get home and start dinner. The park will have to wait until Saturday." Rafael explained.

"Please, Rafi." Noah asked again.

"Sorry, Amigo, not today." Rafael repeated.

Noah pouted a little but didn't ask again. Rafael thought maybe this boundary thing wouldn't be so hard. When they got home things got a little more difficult, the end of the day was always the hardest with any young child.

"I want a snack Rafi." Noah said as soon as they got home.

"Ok, how about a cheese stick and some apple slices." Rafael suggested

"I want cookies." Noah said

"No, cookies before dinner." Rafael told him knowing how liv felt about that. "Cheese stick and apples?"

"I don't like those and I hungry." Noah whined a little louder.

"You liked them yesterday, Noah." Rafael reminded him rubbing his forehead.

"I'm hungrrrrrrrry." Noah began to cry just as Rafael's phone rang and he knew it was a call he had to take. He quickly handed Noah his cheese stick and apples.

"I have to answer this Noah, please take your snack and you can watch a show on the iPad for a while." He told him as he turned on the iPad and answered his phone walking back to the bedroom, when he saw Noah "accidently" drop his snack on the ground.

Rafael had been on the phone for five minutes when he heard a loud crash from the kitchen, without even walking out he knew what had happened. He excused himself from his phone call, took a deep breath and returned to the kitchen where he found Noah surrounded by the broken cookie jar,

"Noah, don't move." Rafael said calmly not wanting the boy to hurt himself on the broken glass. He picked Noah up and carried him to his room.

'I have to go clean that up Noah, then we will talk about you did." He said depositing the boy on his bed.

"I want the iPad!" Noah yelled.

"No, Noah, no iPad if you don't listen." Rafael told him his patience growing thin.

"Noooooooooo, I want the iPad." The boy began to yell.

"No Noah." Rafael repeated walking out of the boy's room.

"You aren't my best friend anymore." He heard Noah yell as he closed the door.

He was surprised to find Olivia in the kitchen when he returned.

"Rough afternoon?" She asked from where she had already began cleaning up the broken jar.

"Apparently I've lost my best friend." He answered with a tired laugh, "This is hard." He added, "It's easier to be fun Rafi."

Olivia offered him a sympathetic smile, "I know."

Just then they heard a small voice from the hall, "I sorry Rafi."

Olivia nodded for Rafael to go to him and he did picking him up and carrying him to the couch and sitting him in his lap.

"Thank you Noah, are we going to have a better night now?" He asked the boy.

Noah nodded, "Rafi, am I still your amigo?" he asked quietly.

Rafael pulled the boy closer, "Yes, Noah but I have to make sure we follow the rules, do you understand that?"

Noah nodded, "I love you Rafi." He said laying his head back against Rafael's chest.

Rafael wished he could have stopped time right then because other than when Liv had said that she loved him that was the best thing that he had ever heard.

"I love you too Noah, very much." He answered kissing the boy's head as they snuggled onto the couch.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

The Journey to Papi

Chapter Four

Rafael had never felt so nervous in his entire life. He told himself he was being ridiculous, it's not like this was something they had not discussed before. They both had admitted this is where they saw themselves before Rafael started spending time with Noah. They had even discussed it with Dr. Lindstrom in one of their sessions, how marriage and becoming officially a family might change things. He wasn't worried that she would say no, but still he felt the ring box in his jacket pocket and he questioned again if he was doing this the right way.

They had recently set Thursday night aside as date night. It usually wasn't anything big but it gave them a chance to reconnect. Tonight he had asked her to meet him at Forlini's for a drink before dinner. He smiled when he saw her come walking in she had obviously been home between work and here. She was wearing jeans, a blouse that was definitely not a work blouse, and boots. He quickly took off his tie stuffing it in his other pocket and unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt.

"Hi." She greeted him with a warm kiss before sitting down on the stool next to him.

"Hi, do you have any idea how good you look in that outfit?" He said with his voice lowered and a smile.

She smiled back at him, "I think you might have mentioned that before."

They sat and talked about their days, Noah, and the trial Rafael had starting the next day. As the finished their drinks Rafael found himself begin to grow nervous again.

"Are you all right?" Olivia asked him noticing the change in him.

"Yes, sorry, I guess my mind wondered to tomorrow." He covered quickly.

"We can call it a night if you want. If you need to get ready for tomorrow, I understand." Olivia told him.

Rafael leaned in and kissed her," Absolutely not, let's go get some dinner." He said paying for their drinks and helping her into her coat.

As they left the bar she turned to the right, the direction where more of the restaurants were and he pulled back on her arm a little.

"Hey, I spotted this new Cuban place down this way. Can we give it a try?" He told her, having spent two weeks thinking of a reason to get her to walk in that direction again tonight.

"Are you going to spend all night comparing it to your mother's and abuletia's ?" She teased him.

"Probably." He laughed taking her arm and walking down the same street they had a almost a year ago. Rafael smiled when he saw the snowflakes falling in her hair again. They reached the intersection and Liv pressed the button preparing to cross and Rafael pulled her back and kissed her. It was a long slow kiss that simultaneously sent shivers down her spine and warmed her all the way through.

"Raf…" She said suddenly realizing where they were.

'That's how it should feel when you kiss the person you want to spend the rest of your life with Liv." He told her reminding her of his words from last year.

"What are you saying Rafael?" She asked tears beginning to form in her eyes as she watched hi drop to one knee right there in the middle of Manhattan wearing his suit.

"I am saying that I love you Olivia, the last year had been the best of my life and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me Olivia?" He asked as he finally pulled the ring from his pocket.

Olivia took his hands and pulled him to his feet, "Rafael, I never knew it was possible to love the way we do. You are who I want to spend the rest of my life with. Yes, I will marry you. "She said the tears falling down her face as he pulled her into a kiss.

Olivia blushed when she realized a crowd had formed around them and was beginning to cheer for them. Rafael slid the ring on her finger and wrapped an arm around her. He waved to the crowd ad he and Olivia walked down the street.

They had agreed they would wait until the weekend to tell Noah, they wanted plenty of time to talk with him and for him to see that everything was going to be all right. The next morning though things did not go the way they planned. Rafael had stayed over (truthfully he spent most nights now) and needed to get to court. They were all hurrying about the apartment when Lucy arrived to stay with Noah and then take him to school.

"Rafi take me to school today!" Noah said as he was finishing up his breakfast.

"Sorry Amigo, I have to get to court this morning." He explained.

"Can you pick me up?" Noah asked.

"Probably not, but it's almost the weekend and we can spend it together." Rafael promised.

"Can we go to the Library?" Noah asked.

"Definitely" He told him giving him a quick hug.

Just then Liv came in to the room handing Lucy Noah's bag when the younger woman noticed the ring on her finger.

"Liv! Oh my gosh! Are you two getting married?" She asked excitedly without thinking.

"What? Who is Mommy marrying?" Noah asked.

Rafael and Liv exchanged glanced knowing they had to tell him now.

"Mommy and I are getting married Noah. We are going to be a family, I want to be your Papi." Rafael told him waiting for his reaction.

Noah sat quietly for a minute and then spoke. 'Does Papi mean Daddy?" He asked,

"Yes, that's exactly what it means." Rafael explained.

"Then no, I don't want you to be my Papi." Noah said with tears in his eye before running to his room leaving the three adults staring at each other in confusion.

"I'm so sorry." Lucy said.

"Liv, I have to go jury selection starts in less than an hour." Rafael stammered.

"It's ok, I will talk to him. Call me later." She said kissing him quickly before going to check on her son.

Olivia gently pushed open Noah's door and found him under his covers crying.

"Noah, honey what is wrong?" She asked picking him up and putting him in her lap.

"I love Rafi and don't want him to leave." He cried.

"Noah, I don't understand. Rafi and I are going to get married and he wants to adopt you so that he can be your papi, that means he doesn't want to leave." She tried to explain gently.

"But Jordan and Nate's Daddy's both left and now they only see them sometimes. Nate's daddy lives far away." He cried.

"Oh Noah, Rafi isn't going to leave you. Sometimes Mommies and Daddies can't work things out but I can promise you Rafi and I will never stop trying and that we will both always love you. "She promised him.

"Will Rafi be here every day?" Noah asked.

"Yes, he will live here." Olivia explained.

"He can tuck me in, and make pancakes in the morning?" He pressed further with a smile.

"Yes all of those things." Olivia told him. "Does that sound good?"

Noah nodded and hugged his Mommy, "I want Rafi to live with us and be my Papi." He told her.

They sat and snuggled for a little while until Olivia had to leave for work. She managed to get a quick text to Rafael explaining the situation. She knew he was probably in court already but would be relieved when he saw it.

Rafael did see Olivia's text just a she was walking into the courtroom and felt simultaneously relieved that Noah's reaction had not been about not wanting him to marry Liv but also heartbroken that the boy loved so much worried that he would leave him. He set all of it temporarily from his mind as he focused in on jury selection.

They had been working there way through jury selection when Rafael looked own at his phone and realized he had four missed calls two from Olivia and two from Noah's school. Then he watched as Olivia's name appeared with a text. _Noah fell off the monkey bars at school, arm is broken badly, on the way to the hospital._

The judge noticed Rafael's distraction. "Everything all right Mr. Barba?" She asked,

"No, I'm sorry Your Honor, it's my fiancé, our son had an accident and is on his way to the hospital." He explained.

The judge nodded quickly banging her gavel, "We will be in recess until Monday, best wishes to your son." She told him.

"Thank you, Your Honor." He said quickly packing his briefcase stopping when he heard her voice again.

"And congratulations to you and Lieutenant Benson." She added with a smile.

"Thank you Your Honor." He repeated as he ran from the courtroom.

Rafael found his way to the pediatric emergency room rushing to the desk, "I'm looking for Noah Benson." He said.

"Are you related?" The woman at the desk asked.

"He's my son." He all but yelled at the woman showing his ID.

"I'm sorry you aren't listed on his records, I will have to get his mother." The woman explained, luckily Olivia heard them and waved from the hall.

"Raf we are in here." She said waving from their room.

Rafael shot the woman a glare as he ran off to join them. Olivia quickly explained, before they entered the room, that it was broken in two places and that they might need to do surgery. Noah was on the hospital bed his arm wrapped tightly and Rafael could tell he had been crying.

"Hijo" Rafael whispered his heartbreaking at the sight of the boy in pain.

"You came," Noah exclaimed seeing Rafael. "You had court."

"I will always come when you need me Noah." Rafael told him sitting carefully down on the bed next to him.

"Because you are going to be my Papi?" Noah asked.

"Because I am your Papi." Rafael answered.

The wait for Noah to get out of surgery was the longest Rafael had ever known. He paced back and forth driving Olivia crazy.

"I'm having some kind of papers drawn up until we can get the adoption finalized, I didn't like how that nurse looked at me earlier." He grumbled.

"She was just doing her job Raf, but yes we will get something drawn up." She agreed

Finally after what seemed like an eternity the doctor came in, "He did great, we were able to get the pin in and I think it will heal quickly. The nurse will show you back to where you can wait with him."

They sat next to his bed as the anesthesia slowly wore off and he opened his green eyes and saw them sitting together,

"Mommy and Papi," He whispered with a sleepy smile.

"Mommy and Papi are right here Hijo, you rest. " Rafael told him.

Over the next few months Noah's arm healed well. Rafael officially moved in with Liv and Noah and they began planning their wedding. They got married in the park in early May finalizing Noah's adoption at the same time.

One Sunday in June Rafael awoke to an empty bed and the sounds of whispered laughter coming from the kitchen. He pulled on a pair of shorts and t-shirt and went to join his family. He found Liv and Noah placing breakfast on the table.

"Good Morning." He greeted them.

"Happy Papi's Day!" Noah exclaimed holding up a picture he had drawn.

Rafael took the drawing and smiled looking at the five year old's best artwork and handwriting where he had drawn a picture of the three of them and labeled each one, Mommy, Papi, and Noah Benson Barba.

The End


End file.
